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[para_normally]

 -- ectoBiologist [EB] began pestering tentacleTherapist [TT] at 01:33 --

EB: ok, i'm not even gonna bother with "hi, how are you" and whatever else.
--ectoBiologist [EB] sent file "email.txt"--
EB: did you write that?
EB: just answer my question, nothing else.
TT: How in the hell did you get this?
TT: Yes, I wrote it.
EB: dave found it! it really made my day to read that.
EB: and it made a lot of things a hell of a lot clearer!
EB: so i'm glad he did.
EB: that's how you feel about me, huh?
TT: I wrote it on Jade's recommendation shortly after our fight.
EB: for SOME reason? i find it really hard to believe that jade would tell you to write an essay about how i've been leading you on and just want to "one-up" you, but okay, sure.
TT: My feelings at the time were rather blinding me.
TT: I didn't send it, or intend to.
EB: oh, your feelings at the time!
EB: right!
EB: how silly of me to be mad!
TT: I knew you would react this way.
EB: yes, because you know everything and you're always right.
EB: obviously.
EB: you caught me, rose!
EB: i'm just this horrible dishonest guy who
EB: fuck
EB: and the fact is, you wrote it.
TT: Yes, I wrote it. I already said this. That doesn't mean I still stand by it. Exhibit A: the fact it remains a draft.
EB: but why the hell did you even make it a draft at all??
EB: just, why does it exist? to start with?
TT: You are being incredibly obstinate right now. I don't know why I'm trying to reason with you.
EB: oh, right i'm...
EB: yeah. i'm just being obstinate.
TT: I'm trying to explain, but you won't listen. So you'll excuse me if I use the appropriate word.
EB: it's not like...
EB: it's not like i was thinking you'd actually like me wanting to tell the world that i thought i was really lucky to have you.
EB: but that's not even a thing, is it.
EB: anyway, okay.
EB: fine.
EB: explain.
TT: Jade suggested that I should compose an email trying to sort out my feelings for you. Perhaps I should have waited a bit longer before acting on the suggestion.
TT: And I left it there.
EB: and didn't delete it, or even edit it, or anything.
EB: because you might still need it, right?
EB: for the next time i said "i love you".
EB: i guess.
EB: or mentioned something i thought you'd like.
EB: or left you a nice message in your ask box.
EB: or just told you i was thinking about you.
EB: it's good to be prepared, after all.
TT: Shut up.
TT: Stop insinuating that I take every kind gesture to be loaded with ulterior motives when you know full well that context matters.
EB: and just never mind all the times we saved each other's lives during the game or just talked each other through it when things were tough. that's all in the past, right?
EB: yeah.
EB: context.
TT: You twist my words and then wonder why, when we argue, I have such things to say about you?
EB: i don't know what you were reading when you wrote that, but it basically sounds exactly like you think i've just been lying to you the whole time.
EB: so yeah, i'm not "insinuating" anything.
TT: If the shoe fits.
EB: what??
EB: you can't be serious.
EB: i
EB: i give up
EB: because it's pretty obvious by now.
EB: how it is between you and me.
EB: you don't even like me.
EB: or trust me.
EB: so, fine, you win.
EB: just...
EB: you win.
EB: we can just forget any of this ever happened if you want. you can send back what i mailed you, i'll pay for it. i don't know.
TT: Will you stop being so overdramatic.
EB: will you stop being so high and mighty?
TT: ...
TT: I think you're right.
TT: It is clear how things are turning out.
TT: I don't hate you, however it may seem.
TT: I don't even dislike you.
EB: that's a funny joke.
TT: John, that's mean.
EB: it's just the truth.
EB: isn't it?
TT: Right now your behavior leaves a lot to be desired, certainly.
EB: and i was stupid to think you ever did like me.
EB: it was stupid. just all that stuff i did. the song and the videos and all.
EB: if i'd known it was going to make things turn out like this, i wouldn't have bothered.
EB: if that makes you feel any better.
EB: this is my fault.
TT: I would argue otherwise, but the effort seems fruitless now. So believe whatever you wish.
EB: "argue otherwise" meaning what?
TT: Isn't it obvious?
EB: uh, no? that's why i'm asking.
TT: Perhaps you shouldn't place the fault squarely on your shoulders when perhaps, it was always going to turn out this way.
TT: That isn't to say "this way" is warmly greeted.
TT: I'm unsure how much of that holds true for you.
EB: ...you don't mean...
EB: ...like, sure, we're fighting a lot lately, yeah.
EB: but we've always been able to patch things up, right?
EB: because now you're saying you don't hate me after all, or even dislike me, so that's good...
TT: Maybe we should take some time to think.
EB: think about what?
TT: As I've said, I value your company.
TT: But,
TT: I don't think I'm willing to lose a friend.
EB: you don't have to lose a friend. what are you talking about?
TT: John, if we continue down this path, then that just may happen.
EB: "this path."
EB: but...
EB: don't you want to try to fix things? whatever went wrong or whatever either of us did wrong.
EB: i know we can work it out!
TT: Of course I want to repair our relationship. All I'm saying is that perhaps it would be better done with clearer heads and a better understanding of exactly what we want.
EB: ....
EB: ...okay.
TT: Okay.
EB: let's just...
EB: sleep on things, i guess?
EB: i mean, what we've been talking about.
TT: I know what you mean.
EB: right.
EB: yeah.
EB: um...
TT: Goodnight, then.
EB: good night.
-- tentacleTherapist [TT] ceased pestering ectoBiologist [EB] at 02:19 --