14

[para_normally]

 -- ectoBiologist [EB] began pestering turntechGodhead [TG] at 03:14 --

EB: dave?
EB: you there, man?
TG: hey
EB: hey.
EB: i need some advice. and i guess just to rant too.
EB: if that’s okay.
TG: well
TG: that depends
TG: cause if its gonna involve snapping at me
TG: yelling at me for apparently interfering with your relationship or judging you or w/e
TG: and/or signing out all of a sudden
TG: then sorry man i gotta pass
EB: no. look, i’m sorry about that. it was way out of line.
EB: i was a lot more mad at rose than i was at you...
EB: and i just sorta took it out on you and jade, i guess.
TG: no kidding
EB: ...thanks anyway.
TG: wait
TG: dude as long as youre sorry and weve established youre not gonna pull your conversational techniques straight from vantas school of being an ornery babbling pain in the ass to talk to
TG: then were good aight
TG: and honestly i was kinda expecting this conversation to come up right about now anyway so
EB: are you sure?
TG: its fine man
TG: lay it on me im here
EB: man, thanks. i really appreciate it, you know.
EB: but okay.
EB: the long story short is...
EB: i think rose wants to break up with me. :(
TG: shit really
EB: yeah...
EB: she and i had a long conversation earlier tonight and just.
EB: she said that if we were going to keep fighting and arguing and being angry at each other and such, we might not even be able to be friends anymore.
EB: and, shit.
EB: i thought we were gonna get through it, like it was just one of those things every couple has to do?
EB: like during really rough spots like that, if you’re REALLY in love, you’re supposed to work it out.
EB: and it’s hard work, but totally worth it in the end!
EB: right?
EB: and i thought i was basically doing everything right.
EB: but i guess not.
TG: sorry to hear that
TG: the thing is though
TG: i actually do mean like
TG: shit really
TG: because thats p much the opposite impression than what ive gotten
EB: ...what?
EB: what are you talking about?
TG: i mean
EB: you mean...?
TG: okay were gonna keep the fact that i told you about this on the down low alright
EB: told me about what?
TG: im getting to that
TG: right so the other night rose messaged me on tumblr
TG: wanting to know if she could talk to me for a while with a warning that it was probably gonna be some pretty heavy shit and she was generally in a pretty damn bad mental frame
EB: wait, she did? really?
TG: scouts honor
TG: naturally i said sure and signed onto pchum as soon as i saw it
EB: what did she want to talk about?
TG: uh well
TG: you
TG: more or less
EB: ...oh.
TG: yeah
TG: tho before you start worrying i promise its not what youre thinking
TG: or not exactly at least
EB: i’ll try not to.
EB: though that’s pretty hard atm.
EB: but what’d she say?
TG: well the conversation lasted nearly two and a half hours so we covered a lot of ground but the gist was this
TG: she has like
TG: no idea what you think of her
TG: or how you feel about her
EB: what???
EB: but how is that even possible? excuse me, but i think my feelings have been pretty obvious!
EB: like i noticed she seemed kinda distant lately, so yeah, i maaaay have turned up the volume on all that a little.
EB: but then again, so did she? so what even...
TG: hold up
TG: just hold that thought okay
TG: also could you lighten up on the questions cause i get to feel like im being interrogated
EB: sorry.
TG: its cool
TG: okay so yeah your feelings seem obvious to you
TG: theyre fucking yours after all and youre the one thats aware of the motivation behind what you do
TG: but heres the thing
TG: and its honestly been making me kind of uncomfortable from time to time too tbh
TG: on the one hand youre like
TG: going on and on about how shes flawlessly beautiful and smart and amazing and awesome and incredible and that kind of thing
TG: and how you dont deserve her and shit
TG: ill talk about that too btw
TG: but on the other hand
TG: she tries to actually talk to you about goddamn anything beyond how much you two were meant to be together and how happy you are and how nauseating you two are gonna be at each other on tumblr today et cetera
TG: and she gets brushed off or shut down or gets her head bitten off
TG: and im just asking
TG: how do you think that makes her feel
EB: did she really say that?
TG: more or less
TG: obviously its inevitable im not gonna nail exact wording here
TG: and sorry but i dont do the whole c/ping and relaying parts of conversations verbatim
TG: shits tacky and vaguely voyeuristic except not in the awesome way
TG: but basically yeah
EB: wait, so...
EB: she doesn’t like me doing that stuff? :(
EB: sending her messages and such?
TG: no she does
EB: then what...!!
TG: thats not the problem here
TG: well not in and of itself anyway
TG: but the fact is youre doing that in place of like
TG: practically anything else that isnt arguing with and alienating her
TG: and even then its like youve actually got a checklist of movie cliches on hand and youre ticking em off as you go along like shits a jaunty to do list
TG: i cant believe im saying this but you actually used to be kind of creative with these things from time to time
EB: but even then...
EB: she’s like, thinking i am in some passive aggressive battle with her or something?
EB: and i’ve never done anything even SLIGHTLY like that before!
EB: you can’t honestly say she’s not being JUST a little ridiculous here.
TG: i never said she never did anything wrong
TG: for one the whole trying to get back at you which is uncool as hell
TG: but i think i get where shes coming from kinda
EB: you do?
TG: lets be real youre not always completely upfront about everything
TG: like i know most of the time its just prank bullshit which is a conversation weve already had so no need to repeat it
TG: but put that together with the fact that you always laugh it off or change the subject or outright lie about how you feel when she tries to develop more of like
TG: an emotional connection
TG: with you
TG: or ask you what you mean by something
TG: and the fact that almost your entire blog consists of shoutouts to her and talking about her
TG: and youre trying to carry off this persona of some suave motherfucker who hits all these classic romance buttons
TG: which sorry and i love you man but youre basically the biggest dweeb in this or any universe and if anybodyd know that for a fact itd be us
TG: all that considered is it really that unreasonable of her to think that something rottens going down
EB: i...
EB: i guess not.
EB: what were you gonna say about the other thing, like... me saying i don’t deserve her?
EB: because isn’t that “honestly expressing my feelings?” is that really that much of an issue?
TG: hmm
TG: technically yeah i guess
TG: but id say thats more like something youve gotta handle on your own so like
TG: maybe mention the whole insecurity issue and acknowledge its a thing but dont dwell on it
TG: idk
TG: the way she put it is that she feels like you dont trust her to like you if that makes sense
TG: either way fact is youre eventually going to have to talk to her about all this if youre even remotely interested in keeping this relationship going
EB: i know.
EB: i just don’t even know what to say or where to start.
EB: and now that she’s said we should “think things over,” i’m just left wondering if that’s her way of letting me down gently.
EB: the fact i fucked things up like this and thought i was doing the right things the whole time isn’t all that encouraging.
EB: maybe we should break up. she didn’t seem all that enthusiastic about it either, but at the same time, if i’ve been hurting her feelings and alienating her and stuff...
EB: then i don’t really care how i feel about it. i just don’t want to be responsible for that.
TG: i wouldnt go that far
TG: you havent been together that long and whoa breaking news turns out when two people get into relationships they just may have rough patches
TG: i know i was stunned too like disney wtf everything i learned about love is a lie
TG: but ok brace yourself because this news report just got a major update
TG: are you braced
EB: i am braced.
TG: these things are just hells of fixable
TG: but you may just have to communicate
TG: can you communicate john egbert
EB: ok smartass i get your point.
EB: but yeah.
TG: good cause ive got one last bombshell for you
TG: itd be a damn shame if you guys broke up at this point and over something like this
TG: not least because its like jade said way back when
TG: literally all of us were waiting with bated breath for one of you to just fucking ask the other one out or something
TG: seriously do you know how many shipping lectures vantas put me through
TG: but yeah i think this is something you guys can get through yknow
TG: and should
TG: because you are a goddamn amazing guy and honestly shes pretty incredible too
TG: and you love her which isnt everything but its a good start
TG: dont you
EB: of course.
TG: then just allow me to reiterate this
TG: rose fucking lalonde
TG: spent two and a half hours feelings jamming with me about this
TG: and trying to find the words to make this right
TG: so for whatever its worth
TG: im pretty sure the feelings mutual
EB: thanks, dave.
TG: no problem
TG: good luck man
TG: ill leave you to it
-- turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering ectoBiologist [EB] at 04:31 --