EB: ...you can't sleep either, huh?
EB: i mean, if you're even there. i guess you could've forgotten to sign out.
TT: It's safe to say the Sandman has not cared to drop by.
EB: i knew it. that son of a bitch.
EB: but so much for sleeping on... everything, i guess.
EB: i don't know about you, but i'm wide awake...
TT: I don't feel any inclination towards slumber, either.
EB: yeah.
EB: ...so...
EB: we could always just talk until one or both of us falls asleep on our keyboard.
EB: if you want. like if you could use the company.
EB: sometimes that makes it easier to drift off, you know?
EB: but i don't know. maybe not.
TT: I could think of worse things to lull us to our sleep.
EB: yeah, true.
EB: ...hey, rose?
TT: Yes?
EB: i'm really sorry for everything i said earlier.
EB: and just everything.
EB: i'm sorry stuff went so bad, especially after we really haven't been dating long...
EB: or "hadn't." because i have to admit i'm pretty stumped about what tense to use there.
EB: aaaand you're not convincing me any time soon that it wasn't at least seventy five percent my fault, sorry.
TT: There's no reason to change your original tense at the moment.
EB: good.
EB: i already feel a lot better, just reading that, heheh.
EB: i mean, the "at the moment" part i'm a little not so hot feeling about, but.
EB: wow that sure was a sentence.
EB: not so hot feeling about. i am the scholar. it's me.
TT: I specified since we are presently in a state of thinking things through, casting our relationship into a state of flux.
TT: However,
TT: I don't really care for the idea of... changing tenses, either.
TT: For the record, I apologize for everything I've said, too.
TT: As well as everything.
EB: hmmm... yyyyyeah, i'm afraid thaaat...
EB: ...i accept your apology in full.
TT: Well then. I have no choice but to do the same.
EB: (only about a second of suspense. see, i am learning.)
EB: but!
EB: okay, it's like...
EB: bluh, one sec, i should probably try to wrangle my thoughts first.
EB: sorry about that.
TT: I understand.
EB: i thought that after we'd known each other for a while...
EB: and after we'd been through a lot together, like literally the end of the world!
EB: that for one, you'd kinda know by now how to tell whether or not i'm orchestrating a dastardly plan of some kind or another...
EB: and also that i like you WAY too much to, well...
EB: all the stuff you accused me of, frankly.
EB: and that's really REALLY worrying?
EB: because it means you either don't have much faith in me, or don't know me all that well after all. i'm really not trying to be harsh! but that's how it comes across.
EB: and even MORE worrying?
EB: it makes me think that YOU think...
EB: that you don't deserve all that. :(
EB: like that nobody COULD mean it when they do things to show how proud they are of being your, well...
EB: your boyfriend.
EB: like it still feels weird in a kind of amazing way to even type or read or say that word, pff.
EB: because i am really proud of it! i'm preeeetty much blown out of the water that you decided, yes, that total awkward dork over there? that is the man for me. yes sir-ee.
EB: and i don't know what i could say by now to convince you that i'm being honest. :( because if you're hell bent on thinking that, which no offense but that's ANOTHER THING that rings sort of true these days, then you'll just interpret all this as another bunch of lies.
EB: and then we're back where we started in this whole mess, all over again.
EB: but here i go. saying it one more time. just in case it sticks this time!
EB: rose.
EB: rose, i love you.
EB: i think you're the most amazing girl in the universe, and if anybody could know that for a fact, it'd be us, right?
EB: i love you so much. i know i'm not the best at expressing that.
EB: not by a long shot! and my screwing that up totally has been a thing that's happened a lot.
EB: but...
EB: can you believe me?
EB: please?
TT: John, I think you need the proper perspective on this.
TT: I appreciate everything you said,
TT: And I can believe that you are being sincere when you say it.
TT: And you were right. I haven't trusted your motivations recently because of certain events and partly because of the way you had been acting.
TT: Here is the first thing that concerns me.
TT: You seem to believe that you are somehow beneath me, in regards to referring to yourself in less than complimentary terms. I assure you that it's not true.
TT: How many times do I have to tell you how much you mean to me?
EB: but when you keep getting angry and suspicious when i tell YOU how much you mean to me, i kind of can't help it! like...
EB: of course i'm going to wonder if i can ever do anything right.
EB: when it comes to you, anyway. :(
EB: and obviously i HAVE been doing SOMETHING wrong?
EB: so, yeah, after a while i started being all worried that maybe i'm just irreparably shitty at this.
EB: and kinda paranoid that i was gonna hurt your feelings and wouldn't realize it until it was way way too late.
EB: or just too much for it to ever...
EB: be okay again.
TT: That brings me to my second point.
TT: I wish that you would take for granted that I care about you.
TT: And that I won't turn and run away at the first sign that your cheerful demeanor is not entirely indestructible, or some of your ideas not quite kind or well thought-out.
TT: It's... interesting that you mention that you've considered that I don’t really know you all that well.
TT: Also that you feel as though I lack faith in you.
EB: "interesting"?
TT: We've scarcely been apart since we were ten years old, albeit via electronic means almost exclusively for much of the while.
TT: Whether this was prompted by the onset of realization that we were in fact dating, or my reaction to your... escapade the other night...
TT: Your actions and words have been... canned.
TT: Your magic act the other night was a departure from your prior efforts, to say the least.
EB: ...yeah, i'm not even gonna make excuses for that.
EB: iiiiit was pretty painful to watch, wasn't it. :(
TT: It inspired some feelings.
EB: heh.
EB: i haven't ever really shown any of you a whole lot of magic! and it's one of those things you say is especially endearing.
EB: so i thought you'd like that, except it was right after... other stuff.
EB: soooooo...
TT: I know. I understand now that I have been exceedingly presumptuous, and that it is precisely because I know you that I shouldn't have assumed the worst.
TT: That said,
TT: You've been telling me you're fine and there is nothing to worry about long after it's become obvious that you have doubts or fears sometimes.
TT: That sometimes you've felt insecure or unsure of how to proceed in our relationship.
TT: Only to get angry when I don't quite manage to read your mind perfectly.
TT: You're much more inscrutable than you think you are.
TT: I want to trust you. More, indeed, than I have ever wanted most things.
TT: Or... anything, if we are being honest.
TT: But this has been hard on me, too.
TT: Your appreciation of me, though I now realize its essential sincerity, remains hyperbolic.
TT: My apparent status in your eyes in addition to your assertions that I can handle myself have... prompted me to cast doubts on whether I can live up to your expectations after all.
TT: And on whether you can ever conceive of "deserving" me, or the tranquil assumption that if I were given the choice between you and anyone in this universe, I would never hesitate to choose you.
TT: That being said, if it came down to this alternate version of yourself and the one without the pretense - the one I intended to date in the first place - then likewise, I would always choose the latter.
TT: That boy is genuine, exuberant, occasionally crass, hopelessly clumsy, and indescribably precious to me.
TT: And I haven't seen him in weeks.
TT: I miss him.
TT: I just need you to trust me with your real self.
EB: ...i can do that.
EB: and if i'm not really terrible at going out with you after all...
EB: then.
EB: i'd like to. keep doing that.
EB: if you want.
TT: John, let me make this perfectly clear.
TT: You are one of the most amazing, unforgettable people I have ever met.
TT: And I love you.
TT: So you can safely assume I would like the same.
EB: then i have only one thing left to say.
EB: and that thing is this.
EB: :DE
TT: :DE
EB: aaaaaand i guess also this too.
EB: <3
TT: <3
TT: (:*E)
EB: :*E :*E :*E :*E
EB: (they're everywhere!!!!)
TT: (Invasion of the tentakisses.)
EB: (strangely, i can't say i'm all that interested in fighting them off! hmmmmm. most mysterious.)
EB: (MOST PERPLEXING.)
TT: (I guess we'll just have to surrender.)
EB: (i am okay with that. :DE )
TT: (Likewise. ;)E)
EB: oh!!!
TT: Yes?
EB: you got that package, right?
EB: i pray the red flippy lever dealie did not lead you amiss!
TT: I did.
EB: great!
EB: how do you like it?
EB: i thought you'd probably be able to pick it up pretty quickly, haha.
EB: metaphorically speaking. and also literally. it's pretty little.
TT: It is a truly amazing gift.
EB: ;OE
EB: i try.
TT: You succeed.
EB: 8DE
TT: :)E
EB: it's official then! next time we see each other in person.
EB: jam sessions.
EB: we're making it hapen.
EB: the world famous ukulele person/violinist and pianist duo, rose lalonde and john egbert. your name comes first, this is not up for debate.
EB: world fame. galaxy fame!
EB: ...oooooor we could just sit around your house creating the most unhealthy jams requiring mandatory hospital stays, as dave might possibly say, or some silly long winded variation.
EB: because that sounds pretty nice too.
TT: Either scenario sounds perfectly acceptable.
EB: it could be my house too. ;)E
TT: Scandal!
TT: ;)E
EB: i know!! what intrigue!
EB: we are such...
EB: such rogues? such...
EB: bluh, anyway. people that do scandalous things.
EB: that is us.
EB: and speaking of that it's kinda... wow.
TT: I can hear birds.
EB: wow uh the sky was not that light when we started talking.
EB: and i'm sort of not in an exactly totally healthy posture here.
EB: but i don't want to go to bed. :(E
EB: bluhhh.
EB: it's pretty much 1000000% less appealing when if i stay here i get to talk to you.
EB: and just be with you, right now. i know that's corny, but it's true.
TT: Going to bed seems a worse evil than staying here, I'll admit.
TT: Perhaps we should be rogues.
EB: and stay awake indefinitely?
TT: You read my mind.
EB: who is the mind reader here anyway? :PE
EB: maybe you are just rubbing off on me.
EB: which i am also okay with, btw.
TT: Good, because I have further plans along the same lines.
EB: gasp!
TT: I hope you know what you've gotten yourself into, John.
EB: sadly, my mind readery abilities have not progressed that far.
EB: i'm still new at this!
TT: Fortunately, I can tell you exactly what fate you've saddled yourself with.
EB: hmmm...
EB: it's tempting!
EB: but i'm up for being surprised too.
TT: All right. Then let's find out together.
EB: :DE sounds good to me!
EB: but i guess if you're going to implement said mysterious plans...
EB: sleep might be a good idea after all. 8(E and then i won't have to wait around awake the whole ENTIRE time to find out the nature of the mysterious plans.
EB: muuuuuch as i wish i weren't suggesting it.
EB: or...
EB: feeling like i should.
EB: but we'll both be around tomorrow, right?
TT: Indeed we shall.
EB: or later today, i guess.
EB: technically.
EB: pff.
EB: same difference!
TT: I suppose rest would be a good idea.
EB: maybe!
EB: i will of course be looking forward to the next time we meet. ;DE
EB: and if i dream of you in the meantime, i can't say i can complain.
TT: You're not alone in that feeling.
EB: even though it isn't nearly the same, obv.
TT: It shall suffice.
EB: FOR NOW.
EB: :)E
TT: :)E
EB: you have sweet dreams too, okay?
TT: I will.
TT: Pleasant dreams to you, too.
EB: good night, rose!
EB: i love you. <3
TT: Goodnight, John.
TT: I love you, too.
TT: <3
-- ectoBiologist [EB] ceased pestering tentacleTherapist [TT] at 06:03 --

CG: OKAY, AFTER METICULOUS RESEARCH, I HAVE AN ANSWER TO YOUR RELATIONSHIP WOES.
EB: whoa, where the fuck have you been?
EB: it's been like two weeks.
CG: GET YOUR GROSS WAXY HUMAN EARS OUT OF YOUR GROSS DIRTY HUMAN ASS AND PAY ATTENTION.
CG: I JUST TOLD YOU. METICULOUS RESEARCH.
CG: I EVEN STUDIED YOUR STUPID HUMAN QUADRANT.
CG: WHICH ISN'T ACTUALLY A QUADRANT BECAUSE THERE'S ONLY ONE OF IT SO WHY THE FUCK DID I JUST SAY THAT.
EB: you were watching romcoms, weren't you.
CG: SHUT UP.
CG: YOU SHOULD BE THANKING ME.
CG: YOU SHOULD BE GROVELING AT MY FEET BECAUSE I AM ABOUT TO FIX THE RELATIONSHIP THAT YOU CONTINUALLY FUCK UP JUST BY BEING YOURSELF.
EB: oh my god, stop talking unless you're going to say something useful.
CG: OKAY FINE.
CG: WHAT EXACTLY IS GOING ON BETWEEN YOU AND ROSE?
EB: well...
EB: dave found an e-mail that she wrote to me but didn't send.
EB: that basically said that she thinks i'm lying to her and trying to one-up her or something.
EB: and we kind of fought about it.
CG: ARE YOU LYING TO HER?
EB: no!
EB: i mean, i guess i led her to believe some things that weren't ENTIRELY true...
EB: like that i'm not a little nervous to date her and things like that.
CG: HMMM.
EB: hmmm?
CG: YES, HMMM. IT'S A NOISE THAT COMES FROM YOUR PROTEIN CHUTE WHEN YOU'RE THINKING ABOUT SOMETHING.
CG: YOU'RE PROBABLY NOT VERY FAMILIAR WITH IT, CONSIDERING.
EB: ugh.
CG: HAVE YOU HEARD OF "BRIDGET JONES'S DIARY"?
EB: uh.
EB: probably? i guess.
CG: GO WATCH IT.
CG: I THINK YOU'LL FIND IT ENLIGHTENING.
EB: wow, that sure was two weeks' worth of advice!
EB: thanks, bro!
EB: i'll just go download this movie now and poof! rose will come running back to me and everything will be sunshine and rainbows.
CG: NO, LOOK, IT'S VERY RELEVANT TO YOUR SITUATION.
CG: SEE, MARK AND BRIDGET TOTALLY PITY EACH OTHER AND ARE PROBABLY ABOUT TO ENGAGE IN WHATEVER DISGUSTING COURTSHIP RITUALS HUMANS PRACTICE IN PRIVATE.
CG: BUT THEN MARK FINDS BRIDGET'S DIARY AND ALL THE NASTY THINGS SHE'S SAID ABOUT HIM, BECAUSE LET'S FACE IT, HE WAS KIND OF A DOUCHENOZZLE AT POINTS.
CG: SO YOU THINK OH NO, LOOKS LIKE YOU ROYALLY FUCKED THAT ONE UP BRIDGET, WAY TO LEAVE A RECORD OF PAST YOU'S SHITTY THOUGHTS IN PLAIN FUCKING SIGHT.
CG: BUT HEY, IT TURNED OUT ALRIGHT.
CG: EVEN IF SHE DID END UP CHASING HIM DOWN A SNOWY STREET IN A TINY PAIR OF SPOTTED-PURRBEAST-PRINT UNDERWEAR.
EB: great.
EB: your advice is leopard print panties.
CG: NO, YOU THICKHEADED BULGELICKER.
CG: TURN THE SASS DOWN TO A LESS CAUSTIC LEVEL AND JUST WATCH THE MOVIE.
CG: AND THEN, IN CASE ITS TIMELESS WISDOM IS LOST ON YOU, TAKE SOME FUCKING RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOUR ASTRONOMICALLY SHITTY ATTITUDE AND CHOICES, TAKE CONTROL OF YOUR SITUATION, AND TURN YOUR LIFE AROUND.
CG: THEN AND ONLY THEN WILL YOUR ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIPS SUCCEED INSTEAD OF SPECTACULARLY CRASHING AND BURNING BECAUSE YOU DON'T HAVE YOUR SHIT TOGETHER ENOUGH TO COEXIST HEALTHILY WITH SOMEBODY ELSE.
CG: YOU'LL THANK ME LATER.
EB: uh, okay, thanks.
EB: are you sure this is going to help, like...
EB: fuck all?
CG: EVEN THOUGH PAST ME HAS LEFT BEHIND HIMSELF A TRAIL OF INANE RAMBLINGS PROFESSING UNDYING CHARCOAL INCLINATION, MUCH AS AN INCONTINENT WIGGLER LEAVES BEHIND A TRAIL OF MILDLY ACIDIC DIARRHEA
CG: I DON'T HATE YOU IN THE SLIGHTEST.
CG: I ACTUALLY THINK YOU'RE PRETTY ALRIGHT.
CG: THERE, I SAID IT. LET’S JUST STARE AT THIS MOMENT AND SAVOUR ITS AWKWARDNESS, SHALL WE?
CG: FUCK, "SAVOUR" AND "DIARRHEA" REALLY DON'T BELONG WITHIN TEN LINES OF EACH OTHER.
CG: ANYWAY, YES. I AM SURE.
CG: I'VE GIVEN YOU THE BEST ADVICE I CAN THINK OF.
CG: FUCKING LISTEN TO YOUR GIRLFRIEND INSTEAD OF WILDLY ALTERNATING BETWEEN EITHER GUSHING OVER AND PEDESTALIZING HER OR KEEPING IMPORTANT EMOTIONAL SHIT FROM HER. BECAUSE IT IS FUCKING IMPORTANT.
CG: AND FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, PUT SOME TINY, SHRIVELLED SHRED OF CONFIDENCE IN THAT SHE LIKES YOU AND SHE DOESN'T WANT WHAT YOU'VE GOT TOGETHER TO DIE EITHER.
CG: CAN YOU DO THAT?
CG: PLEASE SAY YOU CAN AT LEAST DO THAT.
EB: i'll try.
CG: GOOD.
CG: LET ME KNOW HOW IT GOES.
EB: thanks, karkat.
CG: ALSO, TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK OF THE MOVIE.
EB: okay, karkat.
-- carcinoGeneticist [CG] ceased trolling ectoBiologist [EB] at 03:01 --

TT: Hello there, John.
EB: oh.
EB: hey.
TT: I wasn't expecting to be able to reach you, so...
EB: yeah, well.
EB: what is it now.
TT: I wanted to apologize for the poem I wrote and the things I said in our last conversation. It was inappropriate, and my portrayal of you was terrible.
EB: you sure could say that again.
EB: but ok. that's nice.
TT: In retrospect, I don't know what I hoped to accomplish with it. You deserve better.
EB: the funny thing is, i don't know what you were trying to do or say either!
EB: other than that you are really offended when i try to find ways to show you how much i like you and want you around.
EB: but lesson learned!
EB: so don't worry, i will just occasionally mention how i think you're kind of okay. i will space it out nicely too.
EB: how does that sound.
EB: because look, rose.
EB: ...i just can't believe
EB: ugh, i don't know.
EB: i just couldn't believe my eyes and kept re reading it thinking that i was just reading it wrong or something, like maybe it was just going over my head, i know that happens sometimes.
EB: but i got it right the first time after all.
EB: i don't know what you want me to do.
EB: sorry.
TT: I had been writing in a state of confusion and anger and suspicion. I don't apologize for venting. I do apologize for presenting it as fact and giving it to you under such a pretense.
EB: confusion and anger and suspicion.
EB: uh.
EB: like, to do with what?
EB: i thought you'd accepted my apology for that prank and all. :(
TT: I did.
EB: okay, theeeen...
TT: I don't think the why matters at this point. It would be nice if there was some chance that you could forgive me and we could... move past this ugliness.
EB: i never said i wasn't ever gonna forgive you. :(
EB: start fresh and forget about all this, then?
EB: because honestly, that's looking pretty good to me too.
TT: I believe that would solve a lot of our recent troubles.
EB: right.
EB: /wipes everything from brain
EB: so...
EB: um. how are you? since i guess i didn't really ask earlier, eheheh.
TT: I'm well, all things considered.
TT: How is the world treating you?
EB: pretty much the same.
EB: all things considered.
TT: You mentioned that you were reading a book about the paranormal.
TT: What do you think of it?
EB: oh, i'm almost finished with it now.
EB: and yeah, it's pretty good. it seems as though it's well researched and all?
EB: but i know you're not really into that stuff.
TT: Well, you seem to enjoy talking about it.
TT: So by all means, feel free to elucidate.
EB: it's not something to read before bed if you get nightmares a lot, i guess? but i don't think i have, at least not yet, and there's a lot of stuff i knew already.
EB: and i guess i like that the point of view is actually sort of skeptical instead of just blindly accepting that obviously ghosts exist and we should all just keep an ouija board around at all times because they are definitely a thing.
EB: but i guess if you can do seer things, then there's at least something to it all, probably.
EB: it's interesting, anyway.
TT: It definitely sounds unique.
TT: Well, I'm afraid I should be going now.
TT: I have some things to catch up on.
EB: oh, yeah, don't let me keep you.
EB: good night. good luck with your things.
TT: Goodnight.
-- tentacleTherapist [TT] ceased pestering ectoBiologist [EB] at 01:01 --

TT: Hello Jade.
TT: Perhaps you could enlighten me on something.
GG: hi rose!!!
GG: ummm sure :O
TT: It seems as though your brother has recently transformed into an even bigger ass than he usually is. I fear we may be dealing with something straight out of Kafka.
GG: oh noooo please say youre not serious X/
GG: what happened? :(
GG: you two were doing so well!!!! though i mean not without its.....
GG: complications :|
TT: That's a word for it.
GG: but whatd he do this time? >:O
TT: He acted utterly unlike himself. One can't help but wonder if he had some other motive for putting on such a performance.
GG: such a performance??
TT: Quite literally.
TT: He sent me a video of himself performing a magic act for me. With a romantic twist, it would seem.
GG: aaaaaaaaaawwwwwww :D
GG: thats really sweet!!!!
GG: why are you saying that like its a bad thing? :O
TT: I won’t be quite so unkind as to actually send the video to you, but I have procured some screenshots.
TT: http://i.imgur.com/4ZNi3.jpg
TT: http://i.imgur.com/Ez1hs.jpg
TT: http://i.imgur.com/CY4eR.jpg
TT: http://i.imgur.com/1vsF1.jpg
TT: http://i.imgur.com/iVHdq.jpg
GG: oooooooohhhhhh
GG: oh my gosh he looks really uncomfortable :/ it must have been awful
GG: but!!!!!!!
GG: i maintain that it was very sweet nonetheless
TT: The magic itself was actually quite good for once. He’s improved.
TT: But you’ve hit upon my point exactly. He’s never appeared so hopelessly lifeless before during any sort of show he has put on or video he has made. Not even by a very wide margin.
GG: well ok that is certainly true
GG: usually when he does magic hes always laughing and smiling and even if the tricks are bad....
GG: which yes is usually the case to be honest
GG: you still like watching him because he looks like hes having fun!
GG: and sometimes he does actually do something neat :O
GG: but yes i wonder about that too... :C
TT: I can't help but wonder if this isn't a greater part of another deception.
GG: but rose maybe he was just extra EXTRA nervous because it was for you in particular????
GG: so he felt more pressured :( or something like that!
GG: anyway why would he do such a thing?
GG: a greater deception i mean
TT: He puts a lot of stock into his gambit. Don't you remember his last prank?
GG: yes 8|
GG: i was thiiiiis close to zapping over there and beaning him something good for that
TT: Maybe you should have.
GG: that was awful >:(
GG: but he said he was sorry and hasnt done anything like that since!!! so all im saying is........
GG: ugh i dont know how to put this :(
GG: maybe hes really trying to make it up to you??
TT: If he is, he's done a fine job of it.
TT: We had something of an argument shortly before I messaged you.
GG: i thought so :/
GG: thats exactly what i was about to say next
GG: in other words.....
GG: ...rose
GG: you didnt...
TT: Didn't what?
GG: .....did you try to get back at him :|
TT: I simply wrote him something to let him know the sentiment was returned.
GG: oh fuck
GG: okay hand it over >:|
GG: i want to see this.....
GG: for myself!!!!
GG: even though i will probably regret it
-- tentacleTherapist [TT] sent file “Ode_To_Truest_Love.rtf” --
GG: sign...........
TT: Meaning is partially constructed by the reader, you know.
TT: Any offense he took was brought on himself.
GG: rose...
GG: i am going to try my very very hardest not to be rude here but......
GG: ughhhhhhhhh
GG: baaaasically
GG: what the FUCK WERE YOU HOPING TO ACCOMPLISH BY WRITING THIS????!!!!
TT: I asked him to think about his actions, and he promised he would.
GG: i mean if you wanted to try to actually....... oh i dont know!!!! maybe TALK TO YOUR BOYFRIEND as much of a dumbass as he can be sometimes then thatd be one thing!
GG: but noooooooo
GG: instead you had to MAKE HIM MAD and then YOUD BE MAD and EVERYBODY WOULD BE MAD
GG: but i guess that is a really constructive way to deal with your feelings especially when its someone you are SUPPOSED TO CARE ABOUT
GG: so congratulations!!!!!
GG: you both get all the trophies for healthy relationshippy altercations!!!!!!!
GG: all of them!!!
GG: phewwww
GG: okay
GG: okay im good
GG: but still mad >:/
TT: Not that I fault you for being upset, but...
TT: Inhale. Then exhale.
GG: XP
GG: luckily i also love you both lots
GG: soooooo
GG: hmmmmmm...........
GG: the truth is im actually not super good with this stuff either :( but!!!
GG: i do know this! >:O
GG: you two need to stop just sniping at each other all the time and hoping the message will get through :( because that is a surefire way of making sure it wont
GG: i dont see him online so you couuuuld...
GG: write him an email??? :O just laying out all your feelings where everyone can see them!
GG: and by everyone i mean you and john really
TT: Hmmm.
TT: That is definitely a thought.
GG: :D
TT: Thank you for your advice, Jade.
GG: youre welcome!!!!! <3
GG: let me know how it goes :o
TT: I will.
GG: and please dont write him any more poetry for a long time :|
TT: I make no promises.
GG: heheheh :)
GG: see you later! <33333333
GG: good luck!!! :O
TT: Thank you.
-- tentacleTherapist [TT] ceased pestering gardenGnostic [GG] at 02:03 --

TT: John?
EB: oh, hello. <3
TT: Are you all right?
EB: what? uh, yes. i’m great, actually, like usual. :)E
EB: why do you ask?
TT: Nothing in particular, so much as a series of smaller things I can’t help but take notice of.
TT: Not least of which is the post you recently made on your blog.
TT: Much as I am loath to pull out this fatigued and grizzled line:
TT: Can we talk?
TT: I’m worried about you.
EB: sure, i guess, but what is there to be worried about?
TT: You do of course know which post I mean.
EB: do i? that could apply to an awful lot, i am pretty active on there.
TT: ...The one you made not half an hour ago?
EB: that could still apply to a few posts, but okay.
TT: John,
TT: Though I seriously doubt its necessity, I will spell it out.
TT: I refer to the post in which you summarily and in somewhat vague terms described yourself as “so incredibly lucky”, which is not so troubling,
TT: Only to continue onward to describe yourself as too dumb, too weird, not attractive enough, et cetera in order to be dating me.
TT: Despite your protestations that there is nothing to be concerned about, your saying such things -- on a theoretically public platform, no less -- implies the converse.
EB: oh, i deleted that, pff.
TT: I noticed.
EB: well, it was just something stupid and i regretted making it. it was pretty embarrassing in hindsight. i was just in a bad mood.
TT: Why so?
EB: ugh, i don’t know! they just come and go sometimes, they are moods. that is what they do.
TT: John...
EB: rose.
TT: You do know that you are in fact both brilliant and exceedingly handsome, and that your weirdness tends to manifest in delightful ways more often than not?
EB: pshhhhh.
TT: …
EB: what?
TT: I...
TT: Just...
TT: All right. Consider this a dead topic.
EB: okay.
EB: oh! then on an unrelated note...
EB: do you want to watch something together later on? i have neeeeaaaarly every available episode of doctor who on my computer and i think you’d really like it.
TT: That would be nice, but I will have to see about that.
EB: aw, well, i hope you can.
EB: or it could be something else completely! it is entirely up to you, i am more interested in deferring to my lady’s preferences here.
EB: ...are you still there?
TT: ...If I might submit one last inquiry on the prior topic.
EB: yes?
TT: Are you...
EB: ...am i...
EB: you’ve been typing and then stopping and deleting it for like a whole minute now.
TT: Sorry.
TT: I will just opt for relative bluntness: Am I doing something wrong? Or strange?
EB: right now? maybe a little strange, i guess.
EB: but i like you strange, so that is a ok.
TT: I meant that to be applied in the context of our relationship at large, in fact.
EB: oh!
EB: what kind of question is THAT to ask?
EB: it is like i said! i am really super fortunate to have you by my side. i almost think light should’ve been my aspect during the game instead!
EB: that’s basically it.
EB: anyway, i’m really sorry but i’ve got to go. i’ll be back around in about an hour, though!
EB: see you, sweetheart! <3
-- ectoBiologist [EB] ceased pestering tentacleTherapist [TT] at 12:18 --
TT: “See you.”
TT: If only, John.

EB: karkat?
EB: you're around, right?
EB: sorry to bug you. but i promise it's important!
CG: FUCK OFF.
CG: DO YOU EVEN KNOW WHAT TIME IT IS?
EB: uh... yeah? it's nine o'clock, that's a pretty normal time for people to be on.
CG: HERE HE GOES AGAIN, UNABLE TO WRAP HIS PUNY, INSENSITIVE THINK PAN AROUND THE CONCEPT OF CULTURAL DIFFERENCES.
CG: DIRECT YOUR WEAK HUMAN GLANCE NUGGETS TOWARDS THE NEAREST WINDOW.
CG: IS THE SUN STILL UP, ASSHOLE?
EB: not completely? i mean, it was, just an hour ago or something.
EB: why?
EB: what alien culture thing am i fucking up NOW?
EB: are you, like...
EB: bluh, i can't even speculate and i'm not really in much of a mood to throw out guesses atm.
EB: so you're just gonna have to tell me.
EB: sorry.
CG: LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, I PRESENT TO YOU JOHN EGBERT, THE ONLY MAN TO EVER SAVE MULTIPLE UNIVERSES WITHOUT A QUARTER OF THE REQUISITE BRAINPOWER.
CG: HOW HE DID IT, NO ONE KNOWS.
CG: LET ME SPELL IT OUT FOR YOU:
CG: I LITERALLY JUST WOKE UP.
EB: okay, then sorry for not knowing you were taking a nap! jeez.
CG: AS IN, SO LITERALLY THAT HAD YOU, IN YOUR NEVERENDING IMPATIENCE, PRESSED YOUR GRUBBY PINK FINGER TO THE ENTER BUTTON A FEW SECONDS EARLIER
CG: I WOULD HAVE BEEN COMFY AND DREAMING IN MY COCOON, OBLIVIOUS TO YOUR PITIFUL CRIES FOR ATTENTION.
EB: what does that have to do with cultural sensitivity?
EB: aughhhhhhhhh.
EB: nevermind, i'll just talk about my girlfriend issues with someone else then.
EB: if she even IS my girlfriend anymore. whatever.
EB: thanks anyway.
EB: bye.
CG: WHOA HOLD ON THERE SPEEDYPANTS.
CG: GIRLFRIEND ISSUES?
EB: yeah.
CG: YOU FUCKED SOMETHING UP, DIDN'T YOU.
EB: aaas it happens...
EB: yeah, i did.
EB: but i won't bother you with all that, i guess! go back to bed. or cocoon.
CG: PLEASE, WHAT 'SOMEONE ELSE' DO YOU THINK YOU'RE GOING TO BOTHER WHO WON'T GIVE YOU THE WORST NOOKSNIFFING ADVICE THAT HAS EVER BEEN OFFERED IN THE HISTORY OF ROMANTIC CONSULTATION.
EB: someone who won't bite my head off for apparently interrupting his sleep?
EB: but ok, if you're suddenly interested...
EB: sign.
EB: i got everybody into a group hassle on pesterchum because i "had something to show them."
EB: everybody, meaning rose, dave and jade, i mean.
EB: and the truth was...
EB: i had this prank planned, where i would make them wait for me for a long time. a couple hours or so.
CG: WOW, THIS ALREADY CAN'T END WELL.
EB: and then suddenly!
EB: i fell into the frame, all covered in blood and with a sword sticking out of my chest.
EB: except it was all fake, obviously.
EB: anyway, dave and jade got really mad, and rose just up and left. she didn't even say anything, she just...
EB: was gone.
EB: turns out, the whole thing just reminded rose of the time when i died in front of her for real.
EB: so i got up, laughing, and thought it'd be fine, right?
EB: aaaaand it wasn't.
CG: FUCK, REALLY???
CG: WHO WOULD'VE THOUGHT???
EB: shit, i know.
EB: it was just one of those things that seems funny at the time, okay?
EB: and i didn't even think about how it'd actually come across.
CG: JOHN EGBERT, LISTEN CLOSELY BECAUSE THIS MAY BE THE ONLY TIME I EVER UTTER THESE WORDS IN YOUR GENERAL DIRECTION.
CG: I THINK I MAY HAVE OVERESTIMATED YOUR INTELLIGENCE.
EB: thanks, karkat.
EB: it's not as if i already feel terrible about this and already am pretty sure i fucked things up with rose permanently!
EB: you sure enlightened me, bro!
CG: OKAY, FINE.
CG: THIS IS THE PART WHERE I SAY "THAT'S ROUGH, BUDDY" AND GIVE YOU A PAT ON THE BACK, RIGHT?
EB: that'd be nice, actually.
EB: if kind of unexpected i guess.
CG: ALRIGHT, NOW THAT THAT'S TAKEN CARE OF
CG: WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO
EB: that's exactly it! i don't know.
EB: besides...
EB: i guess i have to apologize to rose if she ever even wants to talk to me from now on.
CG: THAT SOUNDS LIKE A DECENT PLACE TO START.
EB: but even then, i don't know what exactly to say, or how, or anything.
EB: haven't you and terezi had really big fights and such before? like where you made her really mad or she made you really mad?
EB: and you made up in the end, right?
CG: TEREZI'S CONTINUED EXISTENCE IS ONE BIG FLAMING 'FUCK YOU' TO ME AND SHE NEVER FAILS TO REMIND ME OF IT.
CG: WAIT FUCK I'M NOT TALKING TO YOU ABOUT THIS
EB: oh.
EB: um... i'm sorry, i was sorta under the opposite impression.
EB: to be honest.
CG: WE ARE GOING TO DEAL WITH YOUR SHITTY PROBLEMS AND YOUR SHITTY PROBLEMS ALONE.
CG: NOT TO IMPLY I HAVE ANY SHITTY PROBLEMS TO DEAL WITH.
CG: LOOK YOU SHOULD PROBABLY GO TALK TO ROSE
EB: yeah... probably.
CG: LET HER KNOW YOU'RE ALIVE
CG: TELL ME HOW IT GOES
CG: AND
CG: HMMMMM.
CG: YOU KNOW WHAT I'LL GET BACK TO YOU.
EB: sure.
EB: thanks, karkat.
EB: good luck with your own shitty problems that you definitely don't have.
EB: and sorry for almost waking you up.
EB: talk to you later, i guess.
CG: YEAH THANKS I GUESS.
CG: TRY NOT TO FUCK THINGS UP EVEN MORE.
CG: LATER.
EB: bye!
-- ectoBiologist [EB] ceased pestering carcinoGeneticist [CG] at 21:23 --

EB: ...hey.
EB: jade? i know you're still probably really pissed off.
EB: and i know that just saying sorry isn't really gonna fix anything, and i still have to apologize to rose whenever she shows up, and what i did was really shitty...
EB: but i'm sorry.
EB: i'm really really sorry.
EB: message me back when you get this, okay?
GG: JOHN
GG: JACOB
EB: whoa!!
GG: JINGLEHEIMER
GG: EGBERT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
EB: ...jade, not to go really off topic, but that's not my actual
EB: nevermind.
GG: OF COURSE IT ISNT YOU COMPLETE JACKASS I JUST
GG: .....
GG: ........... oh
EB: look, i know i'm not gonna get out of this just saying "oh, haha, i guess bringing up the memory of when i basically died for real was kinda lame, wasn't it?"
GG: uhhh...
GG: actually i uh, did not see the stuff you wrote up there? properly?
GG: :D;;;;
EB: oh.
EB: that's ok.
GG: sorry!! :(
EB: no really, it's ok!! i am the one at fault here, misreadings are kinda the least of our concerns atm.
EB: ...or my concern, to be more accurate.
EB: :(
GG: hmmmmm yeaaahhh
GG: and to be quite frank i *am* still incredibly pissed :/
GG: ............
GG: omg
EB: ?
GG: that...
GG: that was all about what i think it was
GG: wasnt it???
EB: uh
GG: you
GG: ASS
EB: WHOA WHOA
EB: ok!!!
EB: hold up.
EB: well ok, i'm not exactly out of the "me being an ass" loop, that has been well established.
EB: but i'm still feeling a little lost here?
GG: hmmm!!!! then allow me to refresh you!
GG: (oh uhhhh one sec..... )
GG: EB: ...i'll get you back for this and you will never see it coming.
GG: GG: pfffft! i would like to see you try punk >:O
GG: EB: that is not a threat, it is a PROMISE.
EB: ...ah.
GG: annnnnnd lest we forget!!!!
GG: EB: you'll be shaken to your core. THAT is a guarantee.
GG: ...... :|
EB: ....
EB: welllll...
EB: you DID say "try me,"
EB: ...right?
GG: .............. >:|
EB: jesus, jade.
GG: sorry but these are firmly fixed angry brows atm >:|
EB: bluuuuuuhhhhh.
GG: >:|!!!
EB: uggghh.
EB: ok. i mean...
EB: all things considered, and however (scandalously!!!) effective the trick you pulled was,
EB: iiiiit could be said my chosen scheme of retaliation was kind of, uh,
GG: overkill?
EB: ......... that was a completely intentional pun wasn't it.
GG: it is now!!
EB: X[
GG: >:|!!!!!
EB: ok, i-
EB: yeah. i.
EB: i kinda had that coming, didn't i?
GG: you could say as much
EB: yeah.
EB: god.
EB: i mean, right now rose is nowhere to be found and she might or might not just up and block or delete me or at least
EB: i
EB: i really fucked up, jade, it's... man. i don't really know what to do or say right now. to any of you.
EB: i talked to dave a little earlier but i was kind of a jackass to him, i think.
EB: well ok, jackassness has kind of been a thing i'm doing tonight in general.
EB: shit.
EB: what do i do?
EB: besides apologize, obviously.
GG: hmmmmmm......
GG: well first off, i am glad in a way that you get how bad that was
GG: secondly...
GG: alright here is the thing john, and i think this needs to be talked about before we blow past a bunch of stuff and right into the solution phase of things ok?
EB: sure!
EB: lay it on me.
GG: see, aside from being mad (whiiich is definitely still a thing jsyk)...
GG: i think above all else, i am mostly
GG: ..... disappointed
GG: :C
EB: :(
EB: though i guess i'm not really surprised.
GG: as well you shouldnt be :T
EB: i know, i know.
GG: seriously i
GG: ughhhh
GG: do you even
GG: .... well ok i am thinking of something very specific here, buuut...
GG: do you remember what happened a couple weeks after your 15th birthday?
GG: and you had to have that long talk with nannasprite?
GG: and davesprite.......
EB: /thinks
EB: oh, you mean...
GG: mmm yeah
EB: yeah, i admit that was kind of out of line too.
EB: here's the thing, though. not to make excuses or anything, but...
EB: i thought that even if stuff i did, or that anybody did, maybe brought up bad memories and such...
EB: that it would be long enough ago that it wouldn't be such a big deal anymore.
EB: does that make any sense?
EB: not that that's what i was trying to do or anything!
EB: or, not in the video chat, anyway.
EB: it honestly didn't even cross my mind that that'd remind you of that time.
EB: or.
EB: upset rose so much.
EB: ...do you think, like...
EB: like, you and dave don't hate me now, right?
GG: SIIIIIIIIIIGN...
GG: nooo you big dummy we dont hate you :P
GG: or at least i dont
EB: siiiiiiiiiiiiiiign.
EB: that was a sigh of relief, btw.
EB: a huge one.
GG: heheh :)
GG: i mean, for all i say about being disappointed-and i still very much am mister! >:O-
GG: this also means i am fully aware you wouldnt actually try to remind us of
GG: that stuff... :C
GG: but arrrgh, that is also the thing!!
GG: you just
GG: never
GG: think these things through
GG: >:T
GG: and i would think by now that...
GG: after a few really bad previous mishaps and stuff
GG: you would have... got that already?
GG: ughhh i dont think i am explaining this well :(
GG: im sorry john
EB: no, i get it. :C
EB: and what, don't apologize to me! that is just utterly silly.
EB: but yeah, i get what you're saying.
EB: i don't think it's really that i NEVER think stuff through, buuuuut...
EB: it just seems like a great idea at the time and then it is
EB: not.
EB: a great idea.
EB: so maybe i just can't tell the difference.
EB: which is really worrying actually? because then maybe i'll just keep on fucking up like this over and over. :(
GG: mmmm this is tough...
GG: ok, i am not suuuper brushed up on pranking protocol but....
GG: maybe you should run this stuff by someone else first?
GG: as like some sort of a bad prank filter :O
EB: hmmmm, maybe!
EB: actually, yeah! that's a great idea!
EB: and then if something i'm gonna do is too mean or lame or whatever, then no harm done!
EB: but i guess i'd have to consult somebody different each time. someone that i'm ok with being in on the joke.
GG: yeah!!! they will stop you in your most wily of tracks >:O
GG: or at least the worse kind of wily, eheh
EB: or else......
EB: they could be my PRANKING WINGMAN.
EB: or sorry, wingwoman.
EB: as it were.
GG: :P
EB: are you up for the job, jade???
EB: of being my wily and tricksy accomplice.
GG: :O!!
GG: oh john i...
GG: this is so sudden!!
EB: i know, it is a big responsibility!
GG: (of course i will you dope)
EB: good!
EB: i was worried you'd say no. phew!
GG: hehehe, well SOMEONES gotta a keep an eye on her little brother
GG: and i do believe that SOMEONE will just...
GG: have to be me! B)
EB: just warning you, it'll be tough! i am pretty hard to keep up with. especially in matters pranky and deceptive.
GG: oh please i have spacewarping powers XP
GG: if anything *youre* going to have to keep up with *me*!!!
EB: oh snap!!!!
EB: i am afraid it is ON NOW.
EB: it is so on.
EB: so on.
GG: oh noooo
EB: exactly.
GG: pranking partners turned rivals already!
GG: what a cruel fate :'(
EB: :C
GG: yes -_-
GG: ....... you know...
EB: yeah?
GG: now i am wondering...
GG: well hmmm
GG: rose isnt back online yet
GG: but!!!!
GG: ok, since you have already had to make thorough pranky reparations once...
GG: i think it would be best to talk to said prankee for that sort of advice
GG: (you know the one john even if you two like to pretend these days that that didnt happen >_>)
GG: ... in matter of fact!! :O
GG: i think this would be excellent for the two of you as well, not to mention rose when she comes back
GG: soooo what do you think?
EB: i think that sounds pretty good! i'll bug him when he
EB: oh, hey, he's on right now.
EB: man.
GG: heheh :D
EB: thanks a lot, jade! i feel a lot better.
EB: and you're basically the best friend a guy could ask for.
GG: awww well :) i am glad that i could help <3333
GG: now go and break a leg!!
GG: and...
GG: one last thing...
EB: ?
GG: i think its only fair to let you know:
GG: for all those times you are kind of a giant whooping horses butt?
GG: you are also basically the best friend a girl could ask for yourself! :)
GG: and i think rose would agree too
GG: <33333
EB: :)
EB: that means a lot, jade! thanks!
EB: ok, i'd better go have this talk with dave who is not the dave i just talked to an hour ago.
EB: bye for now! and wish me luck.
GG: definitely!!
GG: luuuuuck!!!! :O
GG: <3333
-- ectoBiologist [EB] ceased pestering gardenGnostic [GG] at 02:41 --

GG: come on in guys :D!!!
ectoBiologist [EB] responded to memo.
EB: hey, jade!
GG: hi john! <3
tentacleTherapist [TT] responded to memo.
TT: Hello John, Jade.
GG: hellllooooo :O
EB: hi, squishysquid. <3
GG: omg
EB: what?
GG: oh uh! nothing
GG: >_>
EB: that is a perfectly romantic and elegant nickname, i am allowed!
EB: i sense.... JUDGMENT RAYS shooting from a certain ectosis's direction! hmmmm.
EB: they are invisible but nonetheless hella destructive.
EB: and besides, jade, i'm pretty sure i heard you calling a certain seppuku bird sprite dude a few pretty good nicknames yourself.
EB: let’s see if i can remember them...
GG: dont you dare!!!!!!
GG: >:C
turntechGodhead [TG] responded to memo.
TG: alright what the fuck is even going on here
GG: ugggh dave THERE you are!
TG: is this memo thing just to gossip about the latest cheesy romances or whatever
TG: if thats the case then fuck this im outta here
GG: oh no you dont!!!! >:O
GG: you just got here
EB: more like a specific and totally great and wonderful and cheese free romance in particular.
EB: i think.
EB: the name makes it kinda hard to tell. what's this memo got to do with spiderman?
EB: not that i'm not totally down for that!
GG: oh uhh
GG: heheh...heh....
TG: all ive seen are terrible nicknames although i cant really see how that qualifies as a nickname
EB: yeah, i'm sure your nickname standards are exceptionally high and incredibly discerning, dave.
EB: and also probably like forty paragraphs long. nice first post, man.
TG: whoa hey now
TG: my nickname skills should not be dragged into this mess
TG: i mean squishysquid??? yeah very romantic let me poke this squid and see how she lashes out at you
TG: and that first post was literary gold
TG: just sayin
TT: It was definitely something.
GG: heeeey guys, if you stop being buttmunches for a moment maybe i can explain???
GG: ... uhh, about the memo name i mean >_>;
TG: alright sure jade
TG: why does it sound like an episode from one of your weird squiddly shows
EB: it looks like the title of a hentai anime.
TG: squiddly hentai wow jade its amazing how you treat childhood classics
GG: nooooooooo jeez of course not!! XC
GG: i... mean....
GG: not that i dont have my inspirations BUT!!!
GG: in this case it was definitely NOT
GG: that
GG: X|
EB: pffffff.
EB: okay fine, i believe you. MAYBE.
GG: XP!!!
TG: wow i guess you learn something new about dog girls and the hentai they watch every day
EB: but then what the heck IS it? because that leaves it just looking like a dictionary threw up on the memo.
GG: i suppose it is anime inspired, but i must emphasize the important part is NOT the second part....
GG: but the first C:
TT: I'm envisioning a cephalopod swimming the murkiest depths of the ocean, seeking out all the aquatic life in despair and in need, and offering its aid.
EB: yeah, that basically.
TG: what so some tentacle monster is going to come and heal us
GG: awwww c:
GG: but!!! i am afraid its false
GG: ... at least after a fashion :Oa
GG: (pssst hint!!!! it has to do with us :O!)
EB: damn!
TT: Then there will be no medical care for the fish. I see.
EB: they are consigned to life as sushi. :(
EB: or not life.
GG: oh nooo
GG: dont worry, the fish can have a nonmemo related doctor too :C <333
EB: well, i suppose that makes it all better then.
GG: of course it does >:O
TT: Tank goodness.
EB: ...<3
GG: heheheheheh
GG: :D
TT: (<3)
EB: (guys, she knows my weakness!!)
GG: (oh goodness, the punssss)
GG: (we are all doomed -_-)
TG: ugh all of these terrible puns and weird romance things are literally hurting my eyes
TG: they are going past the computer screen through my shades and piercing them with how terrible they are
EB: buuuut of course you sit and watch anyway.
EB: and join in.
EB: that makes perfect sense now and forever.
EB: admit it, you love the puns and romance things.
EB: admit it.
EB: embrace them.
TG: wow its not like a bro just wants to chill with his friends or something
GG: they ARE pretty cute dave!
EB: exactly!
TG: what really
GG: at leeeast most of the time <_<
EB: what!
EB: i am wounded.
EB: :C
TG: they are taking every cliched cute thing that you see in fucking disney sitcoms
TG: and turning it up to eleven
TG: and i have to sit here and wonder
TG: how the fuck did this even happen
EB: yeah, well, i have to sit here and wonder how you don't have any sense of the line between classic and cliche.
EB: which is kind of a shame!
TG: you guys are the reasons classics become cliches
EB: isn't that right... uh...
EB: ...i am so sorry, rose, i totally had another one on the tip of my tongue just now, i swear.
TT: It's alright.
TT: Bunnymittens.
EB: =:D
GG: o m gggggg
EB: hey rose, it's really appropriate that you like tentacled things, becaaaauuuuuse...
EB: /wiggles eyebrows
EB: i am just such a sucker for you.
TG: oh my god
TG: just please
GG: ..... :I
EB: *wink*
TT: ;)
EB: ;O
TG: leave your pun sexting out of group chats
EB: <333
EB: this isn't sexting.
EB: sexting, as you can see by the name, encompasses the much more steamy and naughty and behind closed doors realm of business.
GG: yeah dave only you would consider ~salacious winks~ a sign of sexting :T
TG: i just know theres some less than innocent intentions behind those winks
TG: and i want no part of it
TT: Dave, it's alright. Someday you too will know what love is. And someday you will also send furtive emoticon winks.
EB: buuuuuuut now that you mention it, dave...
EB: less than innocent intentions, you say.
EB: thaaat...
EB: just might be the case!
EB: maybe i mentioned tentacles specifically for...
EB: a very specific reason.
TT: <3o=<&
TG: what the fuck is that
GG: @_@....
TG: how the fuck can you delete text from a group chat
TT: It's a squid.
TG: that combination of symbols has to go
TG: oh
TG: squid
TG: huh
TT: What did you think it was?
EB: why, dave, what else could that be?
GG: dave.......
GG: ..... >:\
TG: i mean how the fuck is that even a squid
TT: http://images.nationalgeographic.com/wpf/media-live/photos/000/005/cache/giant-squid_544_600x450.jpg
TT: For your personal education.
EB: i guess you were right about him all along, .
TT: I would be proud, but anybody could read the writing on this particular wall.
TG: im just questioning the lack of tentacles on this
TG: i thought you loved to put them on everything
TG: also fyi pumpkin is the worst pet name in all possible universes
TG: seriously im passing that on from stephen hawking himself look it up
EB: what pumpkin?
EB: and the ampersand is the tentacles, dunkass.
GG: yeah, duuuh!! :P
TG: yeah one tentacle
EB: no, it is a stylization of a mass of writhing tentacles threatening to lovingly pull you into the chilling abyss. god, dave.
TT: Exactly.
TG: ugh
TG: no
EB: writhing.
EB: tentacles.
TG: yeah thanks for a mental image that i needed to make my day
EB: everywhere, dave.
TG: stop
EB: everywhere.
EB: it likes you, dave.
TT: Slithering over your skin.
EB: it's friendly.
GG: slimey sea nooooodles~~ >:D
EB: sure they're a little clammy, but them's the breaks with tentacles, you know?
EB: it wants to be tangle buddies, dude.
GG: and as we all know...
GG: everyone wants to be tangle buddies :O!
TT: They all want to be tangle buddies with you, Dave. All of them.
TG: why are all of you so goddamn obsessed with tentacles
TG: theyre not even a big deal
EB: they leap because they like you...
EB: they swim because they're swell...
EB: they smile because they have so many stories they'd like to tell!
TG banned himself from responding to memo.
GG: ...... >:|
EB: aw, that took a lot longer than i thought it would.
GG: whaaaaat???
EB: nothing.
GG: >:C
EB: /WHISTLES INNOCENTLY
TT: Read: whistles suspiciously and with a slightly fuller gambit.
GG: >:P!!!
GG: you are both terrible
GG: ..... thoooough that WAS pretty funny, heheh
EB: exactly.
EB: speaking of tentacles...
GG: :O?
EB: i am eyeing the memo name all over again and coming to a CONCLUSION, jade.
GG: ... :D!!
EB: i think.
EB: maybe.
EB: and i'm not completely sure how to feel about it other than being sorta flattered, i guess?
EB: not to be accusatory or anything, but...
EB: you, miss fangirl who is into all of the animes. all of them. and writes huge gigantic essays on her favorite ships.
EB: you made up a special ship name for me and rose.
EB: the doctor part is from way back when i was sort of a doctor getting the tumor out of the middle of skaia. so that's me. and then the octopus part is obviously rose because she likes sea creatures a heck of a lot! which is also completely cute and awesome, as we all know.
GG: :D
GG: right on the nose!!!!!!
EB: all right! :D
GG: gold star to you, sir!
EB: which compels me to ask a question that i TRUST you to answer honestly.
GG: oh my
EB: haaave you gone the whole nine yards ship wise and written erotic fan fiction about us and junk?
EB: to reiterate:
EB: honest answer, sis.
EB: honest answer.
GG: .....
EB: ...
TT: ...Jade, you're pausing a bit too long.
EB: pffffffff.
EB: i knew it!!!
TT: Jade, you didn't.
GG banned herself from responding to memo.
EB: ...oh. whoops.
TT: What have you done?
EB: aw, i was looking forward to some really good reading material tonight. :(
GG unbanned herself from responding to memo.
GG: PSYCHE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
EB: oh whoa, you're back!
GG: :DDDDDD
EB: wha...
EB: that is so not fair!!
TT: I am unsure whether to feel relief or disappointment.
GG: heheheheheh you both totally fell for it!! >:3
EB: jade, that is hardly even a prank at all!
EB: all you did was ban and then unban yourself. totally amateur.
GG: ohhh suuuure, YOU say that XPPP
EB: my gambit remains unshaken and unshakeable.
GG: yeah sure...
GG: in your head
GG: reality tells another tale, however... :O!
GG: (check your meter, dunkass ;P)
EB: ...
TT: I'm afraid the gambit may have to go to Jade, dear.
GG: ..... >:D
EB: ...i'll get you back for this and you will never see it coming.
GG: pfffft! i would like to see you try punk >:O
EB: that is not a threat, it is a PROMISE.
GG: i am sure it is >:|
TT: We will eagerly await your swift reclaim of the prankster throne.
EB: you'd better!
GG: and i will be well-prepared, would-be usurper!!!
EB: you'll be shaken to your core. THAT is a guarantee.
GG: XP!!!
GG: try me
GG: >:O!!
GG: ..... oh wow ._.
EB: what?
GG: amongst all this prankery i... kiiiinda forgot why i set up this memo in the first place
GG: :D;;;;
GG: which i guess i should get on to, even though dave bailed on us early :T
GG: which is to say:
EB: yeah?
GG: how have you guys been liking tumblr so far???? :O
EB: it's pretty neat!
TT: It's been an overall pleasant experience. I find myself under a constant deluge of felines.
GG: heheh :D
TT: Which, as far as deluges go, isn't the worst.
GG: definitely! :)
GG: well speaking for myself it IS pretty... yeah, neat i guess??
GG: i am just still kind of lost here at the moment :\ this is a very different social networking platform than im used to
EB: it's deeeefinitely a few steps up from just plain old forums and such, yeah.
EB: actually it's more like a whole entire flight of stairs.
EB: i'm falling down all these bunnies.
GG: i warned you bro!!!
EB: you told me about hares?
GG: haha yesssss >:D
EB: ...well ok they're not the same thing. i don't think. too good an opportunity to pass up, though.
GG: yeah, allowances are made for good puns ;)
TT: Always.
EB: :D
EB: it doooeeees form a pretty substantial part of why i am so very swoony over my basically completely gorgeous and incredible girlfriend, i have to admit.
EB: she has kind of a knack for wordplay.
EB: as anybody with even a quarter of a brain would've noticed by now.
GG: heheh awwww <3
TT: Don't worry, I'll gladly catch you, so long as you don't mind staying with me for a bit longer than such a service normally requires.
EB: oh my.
EB: *pulls at collar. wipes glasses.*
GG: :O....
GG: john i think youve been talking to jake too much :P
TT: You’ll want to be careful with that, Bunnybutt. I might get jealous. ;)
EB: ;)
TT: Oh, but I'm quite serious, darling. This is the stuff of spite-fuelled tenebrous summonings. I could set a foul groaning eidolic army upon your head.
TT: You could be inviting a violent confrontation, if not simply fear-furnished paralysis. Surely, you might say, this is a mere nightmare.
TT: But really, what conceivable reaction to such hordes can a human have other than some form of disbelief? Perhaps that wow, that SURE IS a herd of fifty nephilim there.
TT: That is just like... a LOT of fucking nephilim.
EB: oh no!
EB: okay, it is settled, there is an official moratorium on me talking to anybody besides you enough for their speaking style to rub off on me.
EB: though seriously, you know...
EB: your descriptions need to be much more lurid than that if you really want it to be convincing!
TT: Oh?
EB: yeah, like the million pages your grimoire dedicates to horrorterrors.
EB: the descriptions of them are all like...
EB: erlekmr'zd has a million gaping fanged maws! and ten huge yellow eyes all over his slimy purple body! and more tentacles than anybody could ever count! and his roars...uh...
TT: Go on. It’s an apt description thus far, if somewhat graphic.
GG: bluuuuh, can we actually NOT discuss that now? -_-
GG: :\
EB: oh, sorry! :(
EB: ok, i will not go on about erlekmr'zd. he will remain firmly within my imagination.
GG: mehhh its okay john <33 and normally i am okay with that sort of thing! at least by now >_>
GG: it is just getting kind of late over here? annnnd thinking about that sort of stuff right before going to bed....
EB: oh, right! but i mean...
EB: we've still got the dream bubbles and all, right? we hardly ever really have a good look at any of those guys.
EB: which i can't say i can complain about.
GG: heheh, true :)
GG: and its kind of fun being able to talk to everyone in our dreams, even the people we never met during the game :O
TT: Indeed, I don't know what I would have done had I been unable to make the acquaintance of the "absurd juggalo troll" Dave mentioned so long ago.
EB: hey, gamzee's pretty all right! and he's karkat's moirail or whatever, and i baaaasically trust karkat's judgment. mostly. kinda.
TT: Well, he did finally concede that you were a splendid leader after all, so I suppose I can agree quite wholeheartedly.
EB: pfff. <3
TT: Shh, I'm only relating an uncharacteristically sensible pronouncement on Karkat's part. This is a no scoffing zone, you know.
TT: (<3)
EB: (you spoil me.)
TT: (Doubt it.)
GG: hhhhhhh you guys
GG: you are going to give me cavities!!!! >:O
GG: ......ooohh omg
TT: ?
EB: ? :(
GG: i juuuuuuuust remembered roxy wanted me to take a look at something she built the other night
GG: and she is probably waiting around for me X|
GG: sooo is it okay if i take off for now?? :O
TT: Don't let us keep you. Preservation of the integrity of your tooth enamel is nothing to take lightly, after all.
EB: yeah, we'll catch up with you later!
GG: heheh okay
GG: i am just going to close this memo for now then
GG: meeting adjourned!!!!
GG: and congratulations again :D
GG: it was about time you two dumbasses just asked each other out, it was honestly embarrassing how obvious you both were XP
GG: good night!!!
TT: Goodnight, Jade. Thank you for your congratulations.
EB: night, and thanks! :D
GG: <3
GG closed memo.